Episode 004 – Strong Coffee Strong Women™ with Tayla Lynn

Chris:

All right. Time to unset. How you doing today? How you feeling? That’s enough. Small talk. Let’s get after it.

Chris:

Welcome to The Mind Unset in our once-a-month segment called strong coffee, strong women, where I get to share a cup of fantastic Java with some badass women. Today’s episode is brought to you by my favorite coffee company, Raleigh-based Larry’s Coffee. Larry’s is organic fair trade, shade-grown coffee. They import directly from the farmers. The roastery uses solar power and rainwater, and there’s a Johnny Cash quote on the bottom of the bag. What’s not to love the company’s fabulous. So is the coffee, check him out at Larry’s coffee.com or on Instagram @larryscoffee.

Chris:

I’m super excited about my guest today. If you looked at her life to this point, it has all the elements of a David Allen co song, heartache rebellion, and most importantly, resurgence. She’s a singer songwriter, actress, mom, and so much more. Please sit back and enjoy my talk with my dear friend. The lovely, talented and hilariously funny Taylor Lynn Taylor, Lynn. Thank you for being here. Good morning.

Tayla:

Thank you for having me. Good morning,

Chris:

Man. It’s good to see your face.

Tayla:

You too. I like your, um, nobody can see this, but you’ve got on some clear-rimmed glasses. I like ’em – you like that? Getting older, having to wear the old glasses.

Chris:

Oh my God. I was having to wear ’em before. Are you kidding? It’s just, uh, can you believe it – 20 years?

Tayla:

No, you know, I was thinking this morning, I was talking to Currier who you know, and I was telling her we were doing this podcast. I was like, how crazy is it that we met 20 years ago? It was more than 20 years ago. Actually. I think I was like, maybe what? 23 or 24. I don’t even know – how, how old are you?

Chris:

I think it was 2001. I think it was right at the end of 2000.

Tayla:

I got sober in 2004. That’s right. You know exactly what year it is. Cuz you had a lot of life going on then too.

Chris:

Yeah. Oh yeah. It was, it was horrible. Yeah, I was. Yeah. So

Tayla:

We’re not, that’s not this podcast.

Chris:

No, it is. That’s what we’re gonna talk about. This is, this is um, we’re in it. So, um, yeah, we might as well just, you know,

Tayla:

I know it was being funny. Like that’s not in this podcast, like we’re not gonna go into your stuff. Is that

Chris:

Right? No, we can. Hey look, we can. Absolutely. This is the whole point of this whole thing, you know, first of all, Strong Coffee Strong Women. You’re the first, the first guest on Strong Coffee Strong Women. How cool is that?

Tayla:

I’m honored. Thank you.

Chris:

This is, and how’s your coffee. How’s your coffee there?

Tayla:

It’s awesome. Thank you so much for sending that to me. We have been using it in our espresso machine, so I’ve been drinking it as lattes cappuccinos, and just as espresso shots.

Chris:

Nice. It’s my favorite. And the cool thing about Larry’s Coffee is you should see the company it’s they run outta Raleigh, North Carolina. They use rainwater collection, solar power. No, I swear. All their coffee is organic fair trade shade grown. Like that’s why I love ’em and the bag. The bag. Okay. Can we talk about the bag?

Tayla:

Mm-hmm <affirmative> let’s talk about the bag.

Chris:

It has a Johnny Cash quote on the bottom. How do you not love a coffee with a Johnny Cash quote on the bottom?

Tayla:

Those are the people for us. I would like to go visit them. When I go do a show out there. I’m gonna go there.

Chris:

That’s why I sent it to you because it’s, it’s a badass coffee from a badass company. So great. Welcome to Strong Coffee Strong Women. You’ve had a killer couple of weeks, right?

Tayla:

Yeah. It’s been awesome. Yes. Very busy. We, um, we had, it was Memaw’s 90th birthday. Loretta Lynn – Memaw.

Chris:

Yeah, let’s get everybody up to speed. Tayla Lynn, the last name Lynn. If in case you don’t know, uh, her Memaw, if I may is Loretta Lynn, the legendary country icon. I mean, we can say icon. I mean, she is the matriarch of country music.

Tayla:

We have to talk about strong women, strong coffee. I mean, exactly. That’s that’s the woman yet.

Chris:

That’s the tie in? So

Tayla:

Yes,

Chris:

Yes. Happy birthday. 90 April, 14th

Tayla:

90. And you know what she said when they had that. Um, so we celebrated her birthday for, you know, a, a full week. We had parties everywhere, and concerts. And so the Opry, the Grand Ole Opry called and asked us if we would do a show for her birthday. And I went up to tell her about it. And the only question she had was she said, they’re not gonna tell everybody how old I am, are they? So still at 90, she’s a showman. She’s not got time for people to know, you know how old she is. Cuz she, she told a lie for a long time saying she was born like in 1936 I think. And now it’s all, you know, it’s all coming out.

Chris:

Yeah. Well that’s the internet age, right? It’s like, wait a minute, Miss Loretta. But yeah, you know, she she’s she’s she is from that spot where she’s allowed. Like that’s the day and age where nobody told their age. Right? Like Tammy, my gosh, all Tammy Wynette, none of all, none of them, they were just like, they were the pioneers of all this.

Tayla:

Well and it worked for them too. I mean she made me say I was 16 until I was 30. I mean like they set it up for a long time.

Chris:

Well, you don’t look much more than 18 right now. <laugh> so it’s true. Hard believe.

Tayla:

I mean, you know, I love Botox. I’m not against getting some Botox and some plastic surgery. You know, my kids ruined my, can I be myself on here? Or do you want me to be more?

Chris:

No man, you can be, this is no, you can be whatever the hell you want. You can even curse if you like,

Tayla:

Great. I’m not going to, but you, um, you said I had a killer a couple weeks. So we had the Opry, which was so amazing and we can go more into that. But the next morning – I have two kids as you know, they’re nine and six and they used my body as baby bottles. These boobs were just baby bottles for them for a year each. And so I had to go in at 6:00 AM the next morning and get my baby bottles, you know, reduced and turned into little pacifiers.

Chris:

<laugh>

Tayla:

Too much. <laugh>

Chris:

All right. Well thank you for coming. I don’t really know how to follow that.

Tayla:

Don’t edit that out! Don’t edit that out. You said it was killer.

Chris: 

No, I’m not. Are you kidding? I’m not editing that out. That’s money. So and how the hell were you in a, you’ve just posted a picture of yourself in a bikini on the river. So like is, is that –

Tayla:

I just covered up the bandages with the bikini. Like I had ’em like strategically placed and I said to my husband, I said, listen, I’m gonna have to post this picture of myself in this bikini, cuz it’s at a good angle, first of all. And I’ve learned about FaceTune, second of all, cuz you can be strong and still edit your pictures. Okay. I don’t want women to think that you can’t be strong and edit yourself a bit to feel your best. And I was able to cover these beautiful little babies now with a little tiny pink bikini. I was so excited.

Chris:

I’m psyched for you. I, I think it’s

Tayla:

Great. Thank you. I couldn’t use listen. I couldn’t use any pain medication again. So it was, it was insane. It has been a crazy week for sure.

Chris:

Well, you look absolutely fabulous. So I want to hear, thank you. You’re welcome. I want to hear, um, it was your first time on the Opry, right? Like for, for, for anyone in the country music business, which we’ll talk about this later, cuz you’re so much more, but when, what was it like getting on that stage?

Tayla:

You know, you’ve known me for a long time and I get a lot of anxiety and go sort of insane before I go sing or do anything important. And there was something about the Grand Ole Opry and the respect that my grandmother has always paid to them. Um, that was so calming for me and that I went out there and the minute I hit that stage, I was so present and so happy. And Meemaw said, “you know, when you’re in that circle, just stand there and be in that moment.” And I had her little jumpsuit on from the seventies and I just stood there and took it all in and I thanked God and you know, my mom, you know, passed away. And so I, I gave her a little wink and, and I just, it was one of the most, just the happiest, most joyous, thankful moments of all time, cuz it may not have ever happened again. You never know. And I just, I soaked it up for all it was worth. I mean it was just so joyful. There was not one negative weird thing about it. And I tend to bring a lot of weirdness to situations and I didn’t that day.

Chris:

And you know, there’s so much unpack there. Uh, first of all, the jumpsuit, all right. I, I went on and watched some clips from your Facebook page. And the first thing that I, that struck me was that comment. When you said that you were at complete peace, you didn’t bring anxiety into it or anything like that. That was one of the first comments I read that someone said you looked so absolutely peaceful up there that there wasn’t, there wasn’t a, an ounce of angst or worry you like you just came out and owned it. And because I, I do the same, I tend to do the same. Like I tend to ramp things up and make them, you know, add an anxiety level to them. That, and that’s what this whole show, The Mind Unset is about. Like unsetting that crap and talking to people like you who figured out a way to do that. And I think cuz when I played FarmAid, I had the same, like I was walking out on the stage right before Arlo Guthrie.

Tayla:

Yeah.

Chris:

Huge. Uh, it was so that we tend to like ramp this stuff up and ruin that moment. But it didn’t see that for you at all in that, in any of those performances, how many songs did you sing?

Tayla:

Oh, we did four. And, and going back to what you said, how many moments have we ruined by doing that? Like what you’re yeah. What you’re saying is like, and I’ll be a crazy person to everybody and ruin the energy around me when this is such a great moment. Not only for FarmAid, not such a, it’s not just for you or for me, but it’s for our, our band and our people and our loved ones. And like everyone else’s joy filled and, and we’re bringing all that like grossness and it’s like, God, it was such a lesson for me of just letting go and letting it be what it’s gonna be because the crowd really at the end of the day is gonna determine kind of what the energy is. Anyway. You’re not gonna be able to create the energy for everybody. You can create it in a big way, but it’s never gonna be what you think it’s gonna be.

Tayla:

And so it was in another, you said the jumpsuit, I put so much pressure on myself to look a certain way. And I think the fact that she picked out that jumpsuit, it was hers. I was clothed in her. What is that word? Like? She sent me there, like I was blessed, you know, she blessed me and said, please go do this. And I think, I just felt like I belonged and I wasn’t worried about as much of the materialistic stuff that was going on on my, out, outside as I was on my insides. There’s a great awakening. Just, yeah,

Chris:

I didn’t mean to cut you off. Um, I just, I thought it was so poignant that a, you did the show and you walked out and she’s your grandmother and you’re paying homage to her. But the coolest thing about that was you were wrapped in Loretta’s jumpsuit from the seventies. Like you were wearing her jumpsuit yes. On that stage for, and I mean, it’s almost like she had her arms around you. She, she, the whole show, the four songs you played mm-hmm <affirmative> you were there wearing her history. Yeah. Her legacy it’s like you had a, it’s like almost like you had a Batman Cape on is how I was looking at it.

Tayla:

Yeah, absolutely. I putting the jumpsuit on was a game changer. I mean, it really was. And, and I didn’t even really love the jumpsuit. You know, I was like, eh, you sure about this? The fringe kind of points down to the hoo-ha and like, it’s like really, I mean, it’s Paisley, the sleeves were big Paisley and it was orange and <affirmative> and I, I mean, you know, it made a statement. You’re not gonna forget what that freaking fringed out orange jumpsuit. And that was sort of the point too, you know, it was just like, bring it just if you’re gonna do it, do it. I’m not gonna wear like the Coal Miner’s Daughter dress.

Chris:

Listen. No, one’s gonna forget that performance. All right. And especially what I think is really cool is just that you won’t forget that performance because mm-hmm <affirmative>, I mean, 20 years from now, you’ll look at that jumpsuit and go that jumpsuit was pretty badass. I mean, to me it felt like you were putting on a Superman Cape. Like when you came out, it was like, bang, you walked out and uh, there, it was, yeah, it was pretty cool. It looked like it

Tayla:

<laugh>, it was something I’m gonna steal it. Nobody knows that yet, but it’s in the back of my closet. I’m not gonna give it back.

Chris:

Well, I think you’ve earned it. I do too. What about Onk at the museum? That he seemed like the kind of guy that was just gonna come get it two minutes after you were done.

Tayla:

I’m always surprised that he doesn’t. I guess he trusts me to bring them back and I always bring back the outfit. So, so far I’ve been trustworthy. So I don’t know. I don’t know how it’ll go from here.

Chris:

Well, so I want to talk about your, um, there’s so much I wanna talk about we’ll get what we’ll get going, cuz I know you got stuff going on. Um, when you had to learn all Loretta’s songs, uh, you’ve been singing ’em since you were a kid, it’s not like you had to learn them, but I use that term just for the layman out there that you know, are listening about music. But when you learned Loretta songs, I found like when I learned other musicians, songs to play covers, it taught me a little something about that musician that I didn’t, I might not have known just by listening to the music. So when you delved into Loretta’s music, is there anything you learned from her that you didn’t already know by just learning her songs?

Tayla:

Yeah. What a great question. Gosh, Chris nobody’s ever that’s such a great question. Um, Jack White had said something in her documentary. Um, Still a Mountain Girl that was on master the master series or whatever on PBS. He said, you know, everybody thinks Loretta’s sort of this dumb redneck, you know, and she just kind of is, you know, she talks about not being educated. She talks about being poor. But when you listen to her lyrics, you realize how smart and why she really is. And I sort of took that. I just listened to him say that, but the more now I’m doing a full on tribute show to her, with her songs all the time, you really do realize how smart she was to put the way that she wrote together. People just don’t even think like that. She has a song called ones on the way, and she compares it to being a chicken in a chicken coop.

Tayla:

This hens done filled up her nest and she’s ready to make a deal. So it’s called, she’s got the pill. It’s called the pill, you know, which was the song that was banned from the radio. Yeah. And she’s just, you have to listen to the lyrics of that song. And I started thinking, my God, this whole thing, this sort of like I’m a hillbilly is true, but it’s also part of her show in a way. And it gave me permission to still be able to kind of be a hillbilly that’s learning words like folly from you at the beginning, but also writing that word down and, and knowing it, you know, so you get to be both like you get to be smart and gather information and learn and always be learning. But you also are like, you can play the part too. So it’s sort of this, does that make sense? What I’m trying to say at all? Croach

Chris:

Listen, it makes total sense. And it’s an incredible segue into my next question, which may not even merely be a question. It may not

Tayla:

Even be a segue. I don’t know.

Chris:

Yeah. The, the, the thing that I absolutely among many things that I love about you is that you are unflinchingly, honest and open, like you just said, oh, you know, I write these words down that I don’t know. Do you know how many people in the world today try to hide that stuff? Especially in the world of social media, where everyone is looking for a gotcha moment. Mm-hmm <affirmative> right. Everyone, especially for a public figure. Like you, uh, everyone just wants to unearth something. That’s gonna make them stand out for the flavor of the five minutes on Instagram and go viral or whatever. And you, what I think is so amazing is you completely obliterate that ammunition by opening it up yourself, you throw it all on the table. Here I am. Here’s what I don’t know. And here’s what happened to me in my life. And nobody can hurt me now with it because I’ve already thrown it on the table. Like you diffuse the entire situation. How is that hard for you? Or do you, are, is that like therapy for you?

Tayla:

I appreciate you seeing that and saying that, thank you. First of all, um, it can be polarizing, you know, I mean, I definitely could have played the game all along and I think gone further in my career and, and gotten more and done more had I not done that, but how many people do you like that act that way? I mean, you know, like how we’ve been around the music business, the, the scene of all of it for a long time and you see the five minute flavors they’re they go like that and they get big really fast, but they don’t always last. And if I can’t be who I am, I’m just not very good at playing the role of somebody else. Um, but yeah, it’s total therapy. I don’t know. I think people around me also allow me the space to do that and, and kind of back it is a segue cuz back to what you said about Meemaw, she is the exact same way with just telling the truth.

Tayla:

I mean, I started reading coal miner’s daughter, not the movie, but the book I’d never read the book before. And she talks about like my grandfather kicking a dog and, and him hitting her and, and cheating and, and the way that she would react. And it’s like, oh my God, I can’t believe she’s putting this stuff in writing. And it became this New York times, best seller. Everybody sees this about our family and then it became a movie and it’s like, that’s just, she’s just telling the truth and people love it. And so I don’t know. I think maybe I was raised that way too. Some, I don’t know. That was a roundabout way to answer that one question. Is it harder? Is it therapy? I think it’s both.

Chris:

Well, and that was my entire tie in is that Loretta did it. She was so profound. And so ahead of the curve with her honesty that, I mean she like, I mean having a song banned, when did The Pill come out? Like 1966, maybe before that 64?

Tayla:

I don’t know. Did you, she’s the most banned music artist,

Chris:

And how, I mean, Loretta Lynn say what you want about anything that is rock and roll man. Amazing. That is, that is, that is, and

Tayla:

That is cool as hell.

Chris:

Yeah. It bodes to my next thing that I read, which I loved the quote you said where my end goal isn’t to be a country singer is to be a truth teller.

Tayla:

Mm-hmm <affirmative> well, yeah, cuz I mean, I think it’s the story that I wanna tell more than sing the song at the end of the day.

Chris:

I get that. And I absolutely love that. Yeah. And, and what I think is I think, and this is just an observation and I could be completely off base, but I see when I, you know, the cool thing about doing this, having this talk with you is that I got to go back and just look and read and, and then spend some time on your social media pages, which, because that’s really the tell about an artist is I kind of go through what the people are talking about. Mm-hmm <affirmative> and, and you have this, you have this special little streak that you, that you can ride because you, you are super strong in your faith. You’ve you’ve been through recovery and addiction and you’ve been super open about all that. And then you still have this humanity that a lot of country singers don’t get like license.

Chris:

I call it license because I think you’ve earned it because like there isn’t anyone that can say anything to you that you haven’t already dealt with. So like, when, for example, when the Dixie Chicks came out and talked about Bush, right, it ended their career. Um, you, I think you say things in a, in a way that gets, that is strong to your conviction. but not offensive to people. And you can say things in a way that I don’t think other artists could pull off. And I, I Marvel at that. What do you think, do you, do you believe that, or do you think that, um, I don’t get that correct? Or is it scare the shit outta you?

Tayla:

I I’m smiling and sort of laughing right now because this is something that my, my best friends and I talk about because my political views, my, um, are, are gonna be left and they’re gonna be a lot different than probably a lot of my grandmother’s followers. You know? I mean that most of them are very conservative and I respect that. Um, I have no, uh, judgment on them for that. Um, but I’m very intentional about how I talk about things that have to do with politics that have to do with, um, uh, racism or abortion or, uh, uh, same sex marriage or transsexual, you know, just any of the kind of hot topics that people get so wound up about. Um, I’m intentional about the way I talk about them and it’s very clear, you know, where I stand, but I think as long as you don’t disrespect people, I think the thing that the Dixie Chicks did, it’s, it’s not that people cared if they agreed with Bush or not, or cared if they were Republican or Democrat it’s that they went to another country and, and said something about their president and sort of a negative way.

Tayla:

And I try not to do stuff where I’m pointing the finger at other people, I guess, is that may not have been what you’re asking, but I do get a lot of stuff. I mean, I, we converted to Catholicism a year ago. And to be honest with you, I love the Catholic religion is beautiful, but at the end of the day, I love Jesus. And I could go to any church. I could become a Mormon and still believe in Jesus, but you know, do it to be in the religion, check it out, figure out, I don’t know. And people just get fired up and they don’t even know what Catholicism is. It’s just, people are ready to fight. They’re hurt, hurt. People, hurt people. They’re ready to fight. They get fired up and I’m not gonna fight with anybody about any of it. I, I find people’s pain when they, when they bear their pain or they get mad like that interests me. Like I wanna know what broke them to be. So just, eh, mean, and eh, like that, that’s interesting to me. I, I wanna help heal them. That’s a good time.

Chris:

And that’s why I think that you have, that is where the brilliance of Tayla Lynn comes in. Because I think for me, what I learned about you in the past two weeks, since I was preparing for this, was that your struggles have given you like the mighty sword of excaliber in your hand, I think you could have been a plumber and you’d still help a million people because the way, the way that your struggle and your battle and everything that you’ve overcome just runs like a fiber. Actually it runs like a fire hose. It blasts so strong that I don’t, I think that you have this delivery system that you use and it’s readily apparent that your message is to use yourself as the vessel to help other people with their shit.

Tayla:

Thank you.

Chris:

Right.

Tayla:

Thank you.

Chris:

So you’ve been, you know, like I said, you’ve been open and you talked about, you know, you got sober in oh four mm-hmm <affirmative> and then you had a little slip and you got it sober in 2013. Mm-hmm <affirmative> right. 2013.

Tayla:

I can’t believe you can remember all, you’re probably looking at notes over to your right. I see you glancing, but you’re doing good.

Chris:

<laugh> yeah, No, I have that in my head. Just like I have your birthday and I have all that stuff. You’re so good. Cause I, I, those are big, those are big moments. And, uh, I kind of knew that before, but my notes are over there just to keep my head brain going. Mm-hmm <affirmative> cause um, I wanted to ask the question correctly and it’s like, when you, now that you’re older, you have two killer kids. I, I it’s hilarious that, that, um, I love their name, true diamond and scout. I, I just, I mean, it’s like, I, I kind of felt like you had a couple horses, but it’s like, you, you knew I have a friend that names his kids with really great names. I’m like, man, you naming horses or you naming children. But I think, I think those names bring breed character. Like those kids are gonna be badasses

Tayla:

Yeah. Yeah. Scout called somebody an MFer the other day. And he goes to Catholic school. He called a kid an MFer and I got called in to talk to the nuns about it. It was awesome.

Chris:

Wow. Nuns. Yeah, that pretty takes me back to SI. I was in Catholic school. Philadelphia Catholic school.

Tayla:

Yeah. Yeah. Oh God. Okay. Did it work?

Chris:

Uh, you know, they slapped the shit out of me

Tayla:

They can’t do that anymore.

Chris:

You in the head and smack you around here

Tayla:

Probably would help my kids. I mean, okay. So go ahead with the question. Sorry, go ahead. So,

Chris:

You know, when we talk about this for other people today, you were talking about people are hurting and people are mean and angry. And I think that too, I think it’s, it’s, uh, disconcerting, right? Because when you’re, I mean, you can be going through an airport, you can be standing in a supermarket and there’s just some contentious discussion going on with somebody who’s arguing about. So something, it just feels very prevalent that there’s a bubbling under the surface. Right. Mm-hmm <affirmative> so when you do your, when you throw this stuff out there for people mm-hmm <affirmative> uh, does it, does it, does it make it easier for you to hang on to your sobriety and stuff because you are mm-hmm <affirmative> you’re you’re so allowed to talk about it. Yes. In the way that you talk about it, does it make it

Tayla:

Yeah. You know, when I relapsed, yes. When I relapsed, my first thought was have all these people that are following me because of sobriety and how I’m gonna let them down. That was one of my first thoughts when I, it was, um, over eight years ago now, but that was definitely one of the first thoughts and being able to share my sobriety and yeah. I mean, it’s almost like you go to a recovery meeting and, you know, or, or something where you’re sitting around with other people like you, and that’s the whole thing, secrets keep us sick. Right. And so you get to share like your, the mind F that you go through every day and, and what this alcoholism and addiction is. I mean, it is a, it’s a disease and, and how we cure that. And so I have found this really great way of being able to, to share on a, in a bigger way and people relate to it. And it’s, I mean, it’s been a godsend for me. It, one of I, sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t do it because if I were to relapse again, what does that say to people? Like, what is, does it give them permission to relapse to? But it also gives me strength not to, you know, it’s like all the, it’s not just a black and white answer,

Chris:

You know, I think if I may, because I’m not an addictive personality. So I, I, but I have a lot of friends who are, and I’ve lost a couple and you know, them too, that didn’t make it from their addiction, but I found it really interesting. And I think to your point, let me just get this out before I forget you said, what does that say about me to, to my fans that are following me because of sobriety and I don’t use the word fan like that. I just mean people are looking up to you. So there a that’s a lot of pressure on you that, and to have to carry that, right? Like I’m, I’m this, um, model citizen of sobriety. But I think if you, when you, or if, when you relapsed, it said that you were human, right. Mm-hmm <affirmative> you were, you are you’re, you can succumb to yeah. This disease that you have mm-hmm <affirmative> rather than fake it. And what I found really interesting was Dax Shepherd was talking mm-hmm <affirmative> Dax has a podcast

Tayla:

I love it – it’s so good.

Chris:

He talks all the time. So he talks all the time about his sobriety and, and how he screwed up. And he talked about a friend one time being at his house and he was going through his bookshelf, looking for a book to read, and he found D’s journal of sobriety that he had. And he had all these dates in there that were crossed out. Wow. And they were all the dates that his rehab failed. And so Dax was really embarrassed and said, you know, I, you know, I they’re, they’re all my failure dates. And his buddy said, no, man, there’s a date that isn’t crossed out. So what that says to me is you never gave up. Mm

Tayla:

Mm-hmm <affirmative> wow. I just got

Chris:

Chills. Like it’s a perspective, right? Yeah. You’re, you’re looking at it. Like I failed and other people around you myself included say, oh, she’s, she’s trying again.

Tayla:

Yeah. Well, you get that perspective. I think later though, you know, when it happens, when, when you do break and, and you’re in that moment, like D you know, says, and you know, he’s very open about his re relapses and you just think I’m a piece of shit. I’m always gonna be this black sheep. I’m always, and I still mess up today, you know, not in drugs and alcohol, but in other stuff, you know, be at whatever you can do. If I do those things, I still am like, who is this person? I go out there and I talk about God, and I talk about this. And then I I’m out here behaving in this way, whether it’s, I’m spending $5,000 at target that I don’t have, or my husband’s money or whatev, you know, just whatever you can think of. And, and still those self hatred, that self hate talk comes in.

Tayla:

And going back to what you talked about earlier, instead of hiding that stuff anymore, I just come on and talk about that too. That way it’s like, yes, what you’re saying, Chris is like, we are all, I’m sorry, I’m jacked up on the coffee now, too. We are all <laugh> human. And that relapse enabled me or gave me the, the wisdom to go, my second son, having a C-section and having this boob job going, you know what? I can’t have narcotics. There’s gotta be another way. How do we do this? Cuz the relapse started with the narcotics. They gave me in the C-section with Tru. And it exactly. Yeah. So it’s like, it gives you wisdom and like to go, okay, what can I do differently? And I know that if I act out enough or call it sin, if you want to, because I’m a Christian.

Tayla:

If I sin enough times, then I’m gonna hate myself so bad that the only relief is gonna look like a drink or a pill. And, and then I lose everything. And so I’m able to catch myself if I, if I I’m gonna call it sin, but call it for whatever you want. I, I know if you worship the tree, call it, I don’t know the leaves falling, whatever, but it’s, you know, if I mess up enough times to me, then I can finally get back to good by sharing it and getting it out. Secrets, keep us sick. That’s the most important thing I can leave you with is to not keep that stuff inside.

Chris:

You find all these comedic moments in drama, which I think is just a brilliant trait to do. Like you turn something dramatic into something funny. Is that something you got from Loretta or your mom? Cindy mom.

Tayla:

Yeah. I would say, you know, I mean, I wasn’t around me while growing up that much. Um, my father is hilarious. My grandmother’s hilarious, but my mom, I mean, she just laughed all the time. I mean, we just laughed all the time unless we were crying, you know? So that’s how I found it in the drama. Is that the only reason we would laugh is cuz there was so much drama growing up probably.

Chris:

Right. And that’s a, that’s a way through it. Right. It’s really all

Tayla:

We can like, oh yeah. That’s all I’ve ever used I think is that, you know – or crack <laugh>

Tayla:

Sorry. I mean it’s the truth.

Chris:

Hey, and you’re a truth teller. What is your, um, now that you’re, you’re not drinking and all that stuff. What’s your comfort food. What’s your, what’s a meal you go to for comfort food when Tayla’s like, uh,

Tayla:

Well, you know, I don’t eat healthy, but anyways, I mean I hate healthy food. Listen, you probably like sitting out there in Mexico eating like the bark off trees. Don’t you, that’s

Chris:

Probably your no man, like just gimme a big tortilla with some beans and some avocado and a big old thing of hot sauce. And I can just, I, I, I can eat it every day.

Tayla:

Oh, I don’t know.

Chris:

Pizza’s my go to pizza pizza.

Tayla:

I was gonna say pizza,

Chris:

Like pizza’s my perfect food, but I can’t get, there is shit pizza here. Everyone says, oh, this place makes the best pizza. They don’t

Tayla:

You’re from Philly. They’re nobody’s gonna have it’s man. Yeah. Speaking of Philly I just had, and I sent you a message. The best Philly cheese steak when I was in Philly shooting that while I was in Jersey actually, but was wait. Yeah, close I way I was in Philly too. Anyway, I had a Philly cheese, steak. I love those things. Those things are delicious, delicious.

Chris:

<laugh> they are. And you just can’t eat ’em anywhere else. But there though, you just, you can’t, they don’t

Tayla:

Taste, taste the same.

Chris:

They call ’em steak and cheese and that’s bullshit. Anyone that puts steak and cheese on a sign, just walk away.

Tayla:

So I was making a Philly cheese steak for my family or somebody and I added an egg and they were like,

Chris:

I was gonna ask.

Tayla:

Yeah. And they were, I didn’t do it in Phil. They were like, what are you doing? I was like, listen, one of my friends, he’s straight up from Phil. This is how he makes some I’m telling you, this is the way to go. They loved it.

Chris:

Well, that was, that is a secret. That, that was only your, that was a Tayla cheese steak. Cuz I could never, oh, there serve that to anybody else because I liked them and people, people would kill me. Like I’m gonna get hate mail now. Cuz they said you put a egg. That’s like putting pineapple on pizza. So, uh,

Tayla:

They were, everybody was horrified when I brought it. Well you and I can just like ’til death because it’s way better that way.

Chris:

Did they eat it and did the taste good?

Tayla:

Yes. Yes. Well how can you not like it?

Chris:

Thank you. It’s like, I mean cheese, steak and eggs. It’s like, it’s like, what’s the difference between like having sausage with your egg in

Tayla:

The morning? There’s no difference people. Thank you. Just have, see we know what’s right.

Chris:

<laugh> so your pizza’s your food?

Tayla:

Yeah. Pizza and I’m really into ice cream right now. That’s it? I mean I’m yeah, I guess so.

Chris:

Yeah. Do you cook or does Jon Cook?

Tayla:

God? I mean, do I cook? I run a yes. These kids and they got, yes. I’m not as great of a dinner cook. I get up super early and do all the breakfast stuff. He’s a better dinner cook, but I still am the one that makes it most of the time. I try to figure out ways to do meat on the grill. So I’m like, Hey, do you wanna grill this that way? I actually don’t have to do anything except for like, you know, chop up some sweet potatoes or something.

Chris:

<laugh> nice. Yeah. Well listen, tell me what you’ve got going on. I hear that you got an album coming this summer. Is that the truth?

Tayla:

Yeah, we got a lot going on. I’m actually recording. Um, I don’t wanna call it a gospel album, but it’s, I mean, it’s about God and recovery. I’m doing that solo. I’m doing that at the end of may, which I’m really excited. I’m writing for that today actually. And then Twitty and Lynn, we have a record coming out this summer. We just did that video. That’s why we were in Philly in Wildwood, New Jersey. We shot it there on the boardwalk there.

Chris:

Shout out to Wildwood.

Tayla:

So I loved it. And we went to, um, you’re gonna know, um, the person you like and sound like, um, uh, what’s his name?

Chris:

I’m not, I’m not sure.

Tayla:

Bruce Springsteen.

Chris:

Oh, okay.

Tayla:

Stone pony.

Chris:

Yeah. You went to the stone pony.

Tayla:

Yeah. We shot it there. We shot the video there and in Wildwood on the boardwalk. Yeah. And I mean, I didn’t know anything about it cuz obviously, but it was so it was very cool.

Chris:

I like that legendary club.

Tayla:

Legendary club. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So I’m glad our producer, um, he a director he’s from Philadelphia. So that was his,

Chris:

That was his

Tayla:

Nice smart idea. So

Chris:

You, so you did the whole Philly representational thing. That was pretty cool. We

Tayla:

Did the whole thing. Yeah. Nice. And, but we ate a lot of pizza while we were there. So.

Chris:

Awesome. Yeah. So your uh, you got the album coming out, you’ve got the Twitty and Lynn tour, our tours going crazy.

Tayla:

Uh, I mean we’re booked until January right now. We’re gone, you know, we’re trying to do 10 dates a month, which doesn’t sound like a lot when you say it like that, but you know how it is. I mean, you’re gone from like Thursday to Monday, Thursday to Monday. Sure. And then I’ve got kids at home and thank God, my husband’s such a badass and, and he’s so great with the, the kids like him better. So it’s perfect that we had boys and he’s so supportive of the music and he lives on the farm, which he loves, even though he is from Seattle, it’s like this whole crazy thing. So it works

Chris:

Out. I was gonna ask he’s from Seattle. So he is taken to farm life. You got cows, chicken, goats, horses,

Tayla:

It’s listen. It’s I wanna live in New York city, you know, and like put me in times square. Um,

Chris:

Seriously?

Tayla:

I’m not done with the sentence. That is where <laugh>. That is where I would thrive. And that is where my addiction would probably to shopping and all things. I shouldn’t do go crazy on a daily basis. But that to me sounds more fun. But living out here, we have 30 acres next to the Loretta Lynn ranch, you know, I never thought I would live out here. I always thought it was totally boring. Everybody thought it was so beautiful. I’m like, I don’t care. I don’t care about the scenery. I don’t care about being quiet and being in nature. Like I got stuff to do. I’m busy. And now here I sit, I’ve lived here longer than we’re here almost eight years. And it is so peaceful and my children are so happy. I’m raising children. I never would’ve thought I would raise them this way. And my husband’s so lovely that it’s it’s sometimes God does for you what you cannot do for yourself. Cause I never, would’ve picked this out for myself and it’s so healing and it’s wonderful.

Chris:

Do you, do you get time to write or do you, do you have to kind of squeeze your writing in when you’re on the road or do like,

Tayla:

You know, I do have to schedule it, but you know, I mean, as somebody that just writes in your head, I’ll do my, you know, I’ll write and put in my voice memos and send it to one of my co-writers or I would love to be able to write more. But the farm isn’t what inspires me. Quiet is not what inspires me to write. I need a lot of action in order to get my brain quiet enough, too much. Quiet. Wow. My brain goes crazy. If it’s crazy on the outside, my brain goes quiet.

Chris:

That’s interesting. I’m the exact opposite. Like when I’m trying to record here in this space, I, the birds are chirping and I’m like, shut

Tayla:

Up. It’s driving you crazy.

Chris:

Yeah. Um, it’s like I, but so I go for a drive. Like I go for a drive up the road, there’s a road to a little town called San Javier. And um, it goes this windy road up into the mountains and you stop at this bluff and there’s, it is so quiet. It’s like you’re in a sensory deprivation tank. I go crazy. You, you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. <laugh> and that inspires you. That’s how quiet it is. I, well, I sit down and then I actually, it doesn’t inspire me. It just gives me the space to actually hear my thoughts. Yeah. Instead of the dogs barking and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. So that’s interesting cuz I was in New York and like it drives me crazy that frenetic energy. I can’t take it at this point in my life. I can’t do it. It’s way too stimulating, but I need a healthy balance because I can’t just sit in the woods and stare at a tree cuz input, you need input as a writer, you have to observe, you have to hear people talk. You have to hear conversations and yeah. That’s what spurs my idea. So I find it interesting that your brain goes quiet when it’s louder. Mm-hmm <affirmative> that’s really interesting.

Tayla:

Well, I think that might be the ADHD. Like literally the ADHD brain, you know like when there, when it’s too quiet then I’m it’s sure. Yeah. But I don’t know. I don’t like to write when I’m super happy either. So if I’m at the farm and I’m just watching the kids and everybody’s happy and you know, feeding chickens and all that and you’re like, oh thank you Lord. For this day. The last thing I wanna do is sit down and write a song. I just am more present. So give me, you know, hellfire and brimstone and drama, then I can do it all day long.

Chris:

Absolutely. I, I think the same way I, I, I can’t write like Steve Martin used to say when he was playing the banjo, he’s like, nobody can write a happy, nobody can write a good song with a banjo. It’s too freaking happy. Yeah. I love that. He’s gonna write a sad song with a banjo. Yeah. So I, I get that. I get that. So listen, I could talk to you all day. I know you have something coming up, so I, I really appreciate you, um, spending the time with me, it’s been great to catch up. It’s so much that you have going on there. I’m so proud of you. Thank and so thrilled for your success and your killer family and happy birthday Loretta. So you are at, uh, your concert dates and stuff are at TaylaLynn.com, right?

Tayla:

Yeah. They’re at TaylaLynn.com or you can check out TwittyandLynn.com. That’s on both places.

Chris:

And at Instagram, at @taylalynnfinger.

Tayla:

Yes. Finger is my married last name. I know. And I, I can’t take it off. You know, I did it to be nice in the beginning. I was like, see, I use your last name and then I got verified with it. So now that’s it. @taylalynnfinger.

Chris:

I love it!

Tayla:

It’s awesome. Who else could handle that last name? Chris? Thank God I had boys <laugh> thank God.

Chris:

Scout Finger.

Tayla:

Oh, everyone’s like, oh, what don’t you name? Yeah. Won’t you name a middle finger. <laugh> God stupid. Sorry, go ahead. You were gonna say something probably profound.

Chris:

No, Nope, no. It’s you don’t need, it’s been brilliant. So, uh, we will, uh, check you out on the road and check you out online. Keep doing what you’re doing. I think it’s brilliant. I think you’re brilliant. And I appreciate you for everything you are.

Tayla:

Thank you.

Chris:

Hey, thanks for listening. It was great catching up with Tayla and I hope you enjoyed it. Next Wednesday, episode number five drops. The Best Advice is gonna be a solo episode. The best advice comes from people who don’t give advice. Matthew McConaughy said that. So let’s talk about giving advice. We all have that friend or family member, their life’s a bit of a mess. They’re constantly embroiled in some sort of drama and they come to you for advice. Do you give it?

Chris:

This is a difficult position to be in because you want to help, but you’re reluctant to, you know, give advice, which is almost comical. If you think about it, because so often we don’t even have solutions to our own problems yet. We never seem to run outta solutions for other people. If you’ve been listening along to this point, let me know if you like the solo episodes or the guest episodes I’ve been alternating between them, you know, looking for that magic formula, but you’re the one listening and I’d love to know your thoughts. Drop us an email at hello at the mind, unset.com. And as always, if you like what you’re hearing, subscribe, spread the word, the show doesn’t go anywhere without you. You can find us at themindunset.com and if you haven’t already make sure to follow us on Instagram @themindunsetpodcast. Until next week, be nice. Do good stuff.